Content
- Not speaking your mind
- How Do I Stop Being Scared Of Conflict?
- Also: Overcoming Conflict Avoidance with an Impatient, Critical Boss – Part 2 in a Series
- You Silently Resent That Things Don’t Resolve
- But why, you would ask, do you think conflict avoidance brings toxicity? Isn’t it nice when we all get along?
- WHAT TO DO IF YOUR PARTNER IS CONFLICT AVOIDANT
At the beginning of a relationship, you might feel that if you have a fight, your relationship will end. You might decide to remain silent to avoid possible disagreements. You might be afraid that you will hurt your partner, or that conflict will lead to more problems.
- These people can be described as conflict avoidant.
- One of the worst things you can do by focusing too much on the people you have conflicts with is to fail to appreciate and thank those people who care about you.
- Despite different approaches to confrontation, there are some personality types who may not receive it constructively.
- They change the topic by finding something on which there can be some agreement with the conflicting party.
- Disagreement or sharing your feelings can be seen as an opportunity for growth for yourself and/or your relationship.
You will deepen trusting relationships, develop new opportunities, and stop spending time and emotional energy avoiding conflict. We have all faced individuals who dig their heels in and won’t budge. They don’t listen to your perspective, idea or opinion. You may feel resistant and lack respect for these types of people. So rather than try to work through these situations, you try to avoid them.
Not speaking your mind
Instead of conflict avoidance, get in the habit of taking a break when conflict becomes too much. Jumping into the unknown territory of learning to confront conflict can be scary, but when you think about the benefits, you’ll be more motivated to overcome your fear. If you’d like to discuss a source of conflict with your partner, you can calm your nerves with https://ecosoberhouse.com/ some planning. Think about what you want to say and how you’ll start the conversation. Having solutions in mind prevents conflict from becoming a back-and-forth argument and can make disagreements less heated, so you’ll be more comfortable with conflict management. When conflict is all about criticism and pointing fingers, it usually isn’t productive.
It is concise and so helpful to have clear strategies. I have been working with a conflict-avoidant couple who have made real gains in therapy. They say they are getting along better and are very warm and cuddly with each other in the session. They came into therapy because of an emotional affair the husband was having. While we had done some work on this, I knew there was much more.
How Do I Stop Being Scared Of Conflict?
Well, we’ll start by defining conflict avoidance, then we’ll talk a little more about codependency and the connection between codependent thought habits and conflict avoidance. Lastly, as always, I want to put some remedies, some how to deal with someone who avoids conflict tools in your toolkit for what to do when you find yourself in a situation where conflict may actually be the better path forward, but those fears pop up. You are not made up of other people’s opinions, ideas, or desires.
Is avoiding conflict a trauma response?
Fawning is a trauma response where a person develops people-pleasing behaviors to avoid conflict and establish a sense of safety. In other words, the fawn trauma response is a type of coping mechanism that survivors of complex trauma adapt to "appease" their abusers.
By communicating openly, you can express your needs and desires to your partner, which can help avoid conflict in the future. The first example is respectful and conveys a desire to preserve the relationship and resolve the conflict without drama. Jane has an opportunity to explain or own her behavior, make things right, and salvage the friendship. The second confrontation is abrasive and seems like an attempt to label Jane as a bad person and call off the friendship. Jane is more likely to be hurt, defensive, and attack back without reflecting on her own behavior.
Also: Overcoming Conflict Avoidance with an Impatient, Critical Boss – Part 2 in a Series
In this case, it may be easier to diplomatically insert distance into the relationship. A person who is incapable of resolving conflict productively may have deeper issues that prevent them from being secure enough to own a mistake in a relationship. Without the ability to resolve conflict productively, resentment and distrust proliferates. Setting aside personal feelings to avoid discord may be a habit. Yet, withholding emotions for an extended period of time takes a toll.
Why conflict avoidance is not healthy?
By avoiding conflict, you are not able to express your true feelings. You store up your frustrations and keep them to yourself. This can cause you to feel stressed and anxious. It can also have negative impacts on your overall health and well-being.